2012-03-18

What Passes For Fight These Days

The infamous celebrity muckrakers TMZ.com have video footage of a fight outside a chic restaurant as Paris Hilton was driving away. The fight involved a photographer, a valet, and a male restaurant patron.

It's early Sunday morning, I have nothing better to do... yeah, I watched the video. Why not?

What I find most interesting about the fight on this video is how utterly girly it all is. These guys are prancing around, trying to steal one good shot on the others. They swing, miss, and run away, then repeat. It is despicable.

I haven't been in a fistfight since grade school, and even then, it was only one or two. But what I know of fistfights is this: If you're going to fight, you stand your ground like a man instead of hopping around like a couple of cats at play. When the fight is over, you've settled your score and you both walk away a little wiser. That's how men do it.

This whole idea of simultaneously fighting and running away is so pathetic that I am basically at a loss for words. It is childish to get into a fistfight outside of a restaurant, but once you've decided to stand up for yourself, dig your heels in and hold your ground.

This kind of wishy-washy "fighting" only serves to demonstrate that none of these men thought they had a defensible position. It was just posturing; but it's worse than that. It's posturing without the posture. It's pretending to be a man without having the cajones to live up to the ideal.